Communication Relationships

Communication Breakdown…in Relationships

In a previous post, I had discussed my thoughts on communication breakdown with regards to the workplace. In this post, I wanted to share my thoughts on the same concept but focused on relationships.

I was always told that successful relationships should feel easy. However, I have not been witness to any such example. It takes work. It takes effort. It takes sacrifice, a good ear, patience, honesty, trust, respect and so much more. We all know this, by definition, but how many of us put this to practice?

You would think that technology would make this so much easier…after all, there are so many ways of keeping in touch with people today-there really is no excuse. My question is, does technology make relationships better or destroy them? Perhaps this is a generational thing? Maybe etiquette is really out the door? Chivalry…does it exist?

OR, is it possible that people don’t want to invest as much time and effort into relationships (any kind of relationship) and choose to take the easy road?

For instance, it is so much easier to “friend” someone on Facebook in order to receive updates vs calling them, emailing them…or WAIT!…I forgot…what about seeing them?? Now, that IS a concept!

Because of all this wonderful technology, less is said, thoughts and feelings aren’t shared and if they are, they are done through acronyms or in short phrases…or better yet, through screens.

First off, in the world of romance, don’t think for a second that I am eager to have a Cyrano de Bergerac in my life. Poems, songs, long letters that turn into novels…words are less important to me than actions, although they can be cute once in awhile. Seeing someone is always the preferred method, for me.

But we don’t always have that option as not everyone lives in the same location anymore. After all, the world is more global today and it will continue going in that direction.

Knowing this, how do you avoid communication breakdown?

I have always tried to do my best to stay in touch with people far and wide. Technology has certainly made it easier to manage this, especially with friendship-type relationships. In fact, I really believe that because of technology, maintenance and sustainability has been made easy.

However, when I say, “certain types” I am not including the more personal relationships. Although distance can make the heart grow fonder and a sms/ mms, Facetime, a Facebook message, WhatsApp, etc is a great way to stay connected, I believe there is a level of intimacy needed that digital communication simply cannot re-create.

With that said, it is a different type of technology which has made the option of flying half way around the world a possibility. I, for one, would jump on a plane in a moment’s notice if it meant one on one time with that “special someone” vs one on one time with a gadget. I guess in a way, I am a romantic at heart…either that or just impatient!

But we don’t have to look half way across the globe to see the dysfunction in relationships. I have met married people who communicate through Pinterest boards-they share outfits they like to the food they want to cook for dinner. I have heard dating stories where much of the communication is via text messaging or email. Even the break ups happen through screens. Carrie in “Sex in the City” was lucky when she received a handwritten break-up note on a post-it! Imagine writing a note…by hand…

So, is technology helping us or completely destroying us? Or is this the 21st century relationship? Will the next generation even understand to story of Pride and Prejudice? Gone seem the days when loved ones would travel hundreds of miles to see each other…just to say hello.

As I write this, I am starting to realize that maybe I am a bit old fashioned in this area. I still prefer hearing a voice, seeing a facial expression or two, giving a hug…sounds simple…or not? It does take a level of dedication and more so, time out of a busy schedule.

But it goes a long way, especially if it helps avoid a communication breakdown. And we should all be worth it that extra effort.